Why ignoring the problem never works…
A child brings up a question to a parent and a parent ignores them.
time and time again the child reaches out to the parent and the parent ignores them. the child is just trying to understand life, but the emotionally immature parent cannot even comprehend their own life.
Being raised by emotionally immature parents can cause a bit of struggle for the child who then grows up into an adult, with their only “normal” being the “adults” they saw at home.
take a moment to think about what your parents were like growing up and think about if you took on any of their qualities…
it’s okay if you did because it’s pretty much inevitable not to. that is the way of adult life that we have known since the moments of our existence. but now you have a chance to change. now you have a chance to grow because you are the adult now and you are now in control of your life.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents was a book recommended to me by my therapist and it was earth shaking. Also just the fact that my therapist told me that i was neglected was like a big WOW moment in my life.
when we are children, we do not know how to function in this human world. we know what hunger feels like and we know when we are uncomfortable and we know that if we open our mouth, someone will come and take care of us.
as we grow up and grow more aware, we start to watch the adults around us and pick up on how they are acting. what gets their attention? what gets us love? we become conditioned to what keeps us safe and what is accepted. it might not be accepted for a child to yell at the parent, but the parent may yell at the child and other adults. this shows the child that when they are older they can yell like that and maybe even sprinkle in some yelling at the parent as well, depending on their emotional state it might be allowed.
or maybe nobody talks about the yelling after it happens or maybe nobody holds each other accountable and just sweeps the behaviors under the rug. ignoring things doesn’t work. raising children that you ignore only leads them to ignore things in life when they are older, which doesn’t fix anything ever.
children learn from adults and adults can learn from children, it just depends on how emotionally mature the adult is in order to get on an understanding level with the child and an understanding level with themselves. here are a few things you can do now as an adults, for free, to help you emotionally mature:
hop on youtube - there is so much information on youtube if you are an audio or visual learner. search for these terms: inner child healing, shadow work, childhood trauma, children of emotionally immature parents. you can also find meditations and affirmations to help really rewire your brain and heal the nervous system.
find a group or person to talk to - if you have a therapist, they can be a good, safe space to discuss or you can join my free patreon and be a part of the community pod and make yourself proud. it’s good to be able to have validation if you lacked that in your life, also we can always learn from the struggles and journeys of others.
journal - write or type or speak it all out. if you don’t feel comfy saying it to someone else, say it to your journal or to your phone or camera. how ever you need to release what you are working through, please, please do. do not allow your mind to trick you into trapping all the harm in your mind. open your heart and love yourself enough to release what doesn’t serve or belong to you.
be patience and forgiving - be patience with yourself and don’t force yourself to heal 25/8. it is a process that takes time and layers to peel through depending on your paths. forgive yourself for the things you did to survive and forgive others through visualizing and releasing your hurt.
these are just a few places to start your healing journey if you haven’t already. you are the adult now and you are in control. take the time to sit with and heal the little you inside so that the adult you can process and enjoy life.
you are magnificent for taking the time and thoughts to grow. love and light to you.
if you enjoyed this blog post, check out these others:
how to tell if someone is depressed…
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